Postpartum Fertility Part 1: Options for Birth Control
February 17, 2012 | 
Author Over the next few weeks, I will be writing about different aspects of Postpartum Fertility. I will cover options for birth control, natural family planning/fertility awareness, ecological breastfeeding, and sex in your marriage. I will also do a post that compiles all of the resources (books, websites, etc) so you can look further into each of the topics. As always, the wonderful midwives at Breath of Life are more than happy to answer questions you may have.
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I hope you were able to enjoy lots of wonderful sexual intercourse while you were pregnant. Isn’t it fun? I mean, you don’t have to worry about not getting pregnant. You don’t have to worry about trying to get pregnant. Completely stress-free sex! You probably had to invent some new positions. And you never had to deal with having your period. Yes, pregnancy is certainly a wonderful time…for a lot of reasons. 
But now your sweet Little One has arrived. Your girly parts are just starting to finally feel like they are attaining normal proportions. And your dear husband has “the look” in his eye. Actually, he’s had that same pained, tortured expression for a few weeks now, but you didn’t really notice because you were propping your eyes open just long enough to latch Little One onto your breast 8 times a night. But now your Beloved can no longer be ignored.
Holey Moley, though, you do NOT want to get pregnant again anytime soon!
Contraception, child spacing, and sex itself can be a major issue for couples with a new baby.
The three main types of artificial birth control are hormonal and nonhormonal. The other option is what can be called a natural (non-artificial method of birth control, and this is natural family planning/fertility awareness. A subheading of NFP is ecological breastfeeding. If you practice ecological breastfeeding (there are 7 tenets, one of which is that you haven’t had your period yet) you have only a 2% chance of becoming pregnant during the first 6 months of your baby’s life. More on that in an upcoming blog post!
Hormonal birth control works by overriding the body’s normal hormone production. Essentially, the estrogen and Progestin released by The Pill, The Patch, hormonal IUDs, vaginal rings (like Nuvaring) and injections (like DepoProvera) fool a woman’s body into thinking that she is pregnant, thus preventing the release of an egg. Because they aren’t always successful in doing that, these hormonal methods of birth control also alter the lining of the uterus so that if an egg is released and fertilized, it cannot implant. This is why some people consider hormonal birth control to be an abortificient–which is why Breath of Life does not prescribe hormonal methods of birth control.
When you use The Pill and the vaginal ring, the “period” that you get is not really your period. It is withdrawal bleeding from the cessation of hormones during that week. Because of the continuous release of hormones in the Patch, hormonal IUDs, and injections, you never have your period or withdrawal bleeding, although you may have spotting and breakthrough bleeding.
Even ignoring all of the physical problems that hormonal birth control can cause you (such as an increased risk of breast cancer, intense moodiness, low libido, and vitamin deficiencies), hormonal birth control can be bad news for your freshly hatched Little One. Because hormonal birth control mimics a pregnancy, it causes your milk supply to decrease, just like a normal pregnancy would. Your body thinks that it needs to prepare for Little One Version 2.0, and that becomes its main priority. Because of this, it is highly recommended that you not use hormonal birth control until you are willing to experience an artificial, premature drop in your milk supply. Research shows that progestin-only hormonal methods, such as the Mini Pill, do not cause this drop in milk supply, but there is copious anecdotal evidence that even without the estrogen, you may produce less breastmilk for your Little One.
Nonhormonal methods of birth control include both barriers and chemicals. Barrier methods do just that: put a physical barrier between the egg and sperm, thus preventing conception. The most common options are condoms, diaphragms, and cervical caps. Although there are no hormones involved, most of these devices require the use of spermicide. Spermicide can also be used on its own but is less effective. Many people are leery of hormonal methods of birth control, especially while they are nursing, and become more interested in other methods.
Barrier methods have no physical side effects, although the spermicide used does irritate some people. Condoms can reduce sensation, especially for the man, and may require a “break in the action.” Diaphragms and cervical caps can be put in hours before sex, and left in for a while afterward. Some people think that this reduces the spontaneity of their sex lives, but I am here to assure you that with sweet Little One earthside, your sex life isn’t going to be all that spontaneous anyway. You do need to be fitted for these, and they do take some practice to put in. Some women aren’t comfortable doing that, or just can’t seem to get the hang of them.
Natural family planning, also called the fertility awareness method, is a highly scientific method that teaches a woman how to observe her signs of fertility so that she and her husband can dialogue together about their desire for children. This is not the old “rhythm” method and your cycles do not have to be remotely “regular” in order to use it. Although it does require learning, the couples who teach NFP are loving, helpful, and use NFP themselves so they are more than able to help newbies learn the method. And trust me, it isn’t too complicated to learn…illiterate women in impoverished areas of Africa use NFP, too! I will devote an entire blog post to NFP, so I won’t get into it too much now, but this is what it basically boils down to:
Throughout the course of her menstrual cycle, a woman produces different types of fluid (mucus) from her cervix. True fact. When you are nearing ovulation, the fluid becomes stretchy, clear, and lubricative–it kind of looks like egg white, actually! Sperm can live in that type of cervical fluid for up to 5 days. The egg itself is only available for fertilization for about 24 hours out of one month. Because of how long sperm can live in fertile cervical fluid, a woman is only truly fertile for about 1 week per month. If you wish to avoid pregnancy, you abstain from sexual intercourse during this time. If you want to get pregnant, make sure you have sex a few time during this fertile phase. Couples choose to use a barrier method when the woman is fertile. Like I said, more to come!
A method of birth control that seems defy the three major categories is the copper IUD. The copper IUD is different from the hormonal IUD in that, obviously, it does not release artificial hormones into the body. It can last for up to 10 years in the body, and has fewer side effects than the hormonal IUDs. Because it is nonhormonal, a woman still has her normal menstrual cycles–meaning that she is still ovulating. Thus, the copper IUD does not affect milk production in women who are breastfeeding. Yay for Little One getting lots of wonderful milk!
Interestingly, your body treats copper like a poison. The copper IUD, then, causes such irritation in the woman’s uterus that it becomes inflamed to the point that sperm essentially is halted on its path to the egg. If the sperm does make it through the irritated uterus and fertilizes an egg, the inflammation in the uterus prevents implantation. This is why some people consider the copper IUD to also be an abortificient. Both the hormonal and nonhormonal IUDs carry an increased risk of a woman developing pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), ectopic pregnancy if fertilization does occur, and uterine perforation.
Sources:
http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/birthcontrol.html
http://naturalfamilyplanningandmore.org/
http://ccli.org/breastfeeding/
http://ccli.org/nfp/
http://onemoresoul.com/category/contraception/risks-consequences
http://www.paragard.com/what-is-paragard/Default.aspx
http://onemoresoul.com/contraception/risks-consequences/what-a-woman-should-know-about-birth-control.html
http://tcoyf.com/
http://www.womentowomen.com/sexualityandfertility/birthcontrolmethods.aspx
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Husband…mortgage partner?
I once attended a talk in which the presenter had us think of all the reasons we had married our spouse. So we listed things like sense of humor, good looks, same hobbies, shared religion, in love, etc. The presenter concurred that these were all wonderful reasons to get married. She then said that when couples come into her office seeking marriage counseling, and she asks they why they are still married, the most common reason they give is “well, we own the house together.”
The point is that you didn’t marry your spouse so that you could someday have a mortgage together. You married your spouse because you wanted to have a life together. Sometimes, we need to remember why we got married in the first place, and rework our lives so that it again becomes the reason we are still married.
The first year after a baby is born is really tough on marriages. Sure, it is wonderful to see this little being that your Love has created. It is endearing to watch your husband cuddle your baby close and coo back to her. It may fill a husband with awe to watch his wife breastfeed their son. But as amazing and incredible and GOOD as it may be to bring a new life into your lives, it is still tough.
My husband and I felt that we would be fine having a baby; that it wouldn’t upset our lives too much because we had a very kid-friendly life before we had kids. We weren’t into partying, or drinking, or expensive vacations or lavish meals out or going to professional sports games. We liked being at home, watching movies, going camping a few weekends a month, and visiting our families. So while we might have had a smaller adjustment than a couple whose social life is built around clubbing, it felt like a major adjustment for us.
While we still have gone out to eat once a week, we have to select the restaurant based on how ok they are with Rachel tossing food on the ground. And just recently we decided to forgo going out, and will start ordering dinner in once a week. I am so exhausted that I can only make it through about half a movie before I fall asleep, and we really enjoy watching movies together. Sex is no longer something we can spontaneously do when the mood strikes us. First off, it has taken a year for my “mood” to return, and now we have to plan our intimate time around Rachel’s sleep schedule. No more sleep Saturday mornings together in bed…we trade off who sleeps in on the weekend and who gets up to be with Rachel.
But regardless of what you enjoy doing with your spouse and how that will change once babies arrive, the real struggle is that priorities change. While I firmly believe that marriage needs to come first, since you will be married long after the kids are out of the house for good, the fact is that to have a joyful family, the needs of the baby do come first during that first year. And that can be a really hard adjustment for a husband and wife who are used to putting themselves and each other first.
I have had to learn to give up sleep so that I can be with my husband. When I nurse Rachel to sleep at night, there is nothing more that my body longs for than to crawl into bed along with her. But there is someone else who needs me now. So I go join Steve for an hour or so before we both go to bed–and wow, is it nice to not worry about a little one need a diaper change or spilling the flour all over the floor! I do treasure these times “alone” with my husband, even if they do mean that I get a bit less sleep. It is worth it. Likewise, my husband has had to learn patience, since we have been interrupted during our intimate times by screaming baby in the other room more times than I can count!
So as hard as it is, and as tired as you are, remember the reasons you got married to your spouse. Remember why you chose each other. And find ways to live that out, despite the needs of your family and your household. God wants more for your marriage than a mere mortgage!
Keeping House, Part 3
time at the beach with my daughter is well worth paying someone else to scrub the toilets!
I once told my husband that I never wanted to have so many kids that I felt the need to hire a housekeeper.
I didn’t know that I would feel that way after just 1 baby!
I feel like I ought to hang my head in shame. I mean, I have one baby. A small house (2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 1000 square feet). Not homeschooling yet. I would like to think that I am capable of keeping my house clean to my level of satisfaction’ making the house clutter free; attending to the laundry adequately (inc. the cloth diapers), nursing Rachel, exercising, cooking dinner in addition to making bread, beans, and kefir; spending quality time with my husband; maintaing relationships with my friends; participating in playgroups and La Leche Leauge meetings; ensuring that Rachel plays outside for about an hour a day; beginning to do art projects with Rachel everyday; spend some time recharing my me batteries; improve my spiritual life; and get my bare minimum amount of sleep. And I was doing all of that, but it was wearing me thin and stressing me out.
Something needed to give. If I had family around, I don’t think I would have hired a housekeeper. I would ask my mom or sister come over and play with Rachel for an hour on the weekend specifically so that I could get deep cleaning done, and we would have been fine. But since my mom and sister live over 1000 miles away from me, that isn’t an option. My husband has so many outdoor chores and carpentry/house projects, that after coming home from work, riding his bike, and interacting with me and Rachel, there isn’t time or energy leftover for him to do my chores, or entertain Rachel while I do the chores. Not everyone’s priorites are ours. My husband and I debated long and hard about this, and I finally gave in and agreed to give a housekeeper a try.
Now, every two weeks, the cleaning ladies come for one hour. They clean the bathroroms: sinks, counters, mirrors, and shower and tub. They mop the bathroom floors. They scrub my glasstop stove and stainless steel kitchen sink. They wash a few windows. They vacuum my furniture, and sometimes the carpets.
It is glorious. And it is well worth the money.
Do I feel like less of a homemaker? Yes. But I feel like I am a better mom with their help. My priority right now is Rachel. But in order to feel sane, I need to have a clean house. There are lots of things that I can’t delegate, or don’t want to delegate. I considered hiring a local middle school girl to come over and be a mother’s helper, i.e., watch Rachel while I am here cleaning. It didn’t take me long to decide, though, that I would rather be with Rachel while I paid someone else to clean my house! My husband and I think that parenting Rachel is worth hiring someone else to clean the tubs. Sure, I could stick her in the pack n play, or in front of the TV, and clean the sinks, but we want to raise our kids rather than having containers or screens raise our kids.
I do still do weekly, monthly, and daily chores. I often wear Rachel on my back in the Ergo while I complete these. Here are my updated chore sheets; I have them displayed in the frame just like before.
TODAY
Make bed
Dishwasher/dishes
Sweep
Clean counters, sink
Wipe off table
Wipe bathroom sinks
Cook dinner
Water garden
Feed Eddy
Laundry
Pick up house
Exercise
Shower
Alone time
Read to Rachel
Play outside
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
Tonight’s Dinner
THIS WEEK
Mop
Vacuum
Clean highchair
Blog post
Rachel’s manicure
Change towels
Plan menu
Grocery store
Card to friend
_________________________
_________________________
__________________________
______________________________
THIS MONTH
Dust
Clean refrigerator
Clean microwave
SRP
Eddy meds
Change sheets
Cards/presents for next month
I don’t plan on having a housekeeper forever. Right now, it works for us. But I might always pay someone to clean the tubs!
Don’t “if” your natural birth; PLAN your natural birth!
Have you ever noticed that women women gather at baby showers, and get to talking about birth and breastfeeding , almost all of them sound like horror stories?
You know…”I was in labor for 4 days!” “I had to have 2 episiotomies” “I was 3 days late so I just got induced” “My baby didn’t like breastfeeding” “I had to supplement with formula because the pediatrician said she wasn’t gaining enough weight” “My back labor was so awful I was crying for an epidural at 1 cm” “My OB said my hips just aren’t big enough to have a vaginal birth” “Well, we will have a natural birth next time, if God wills it” “My body just doesn’t know how to have a baby so I was on pitocin the whole time” etc.
Let me ask you this. Are you a mammal? Yes, of course you are; whether you think you are descended from monkeys or not, you are still a mammal. As are racoons, moose, goats, rabbits, moles, bats, jaguars, elephants, polar bears, chinchillas, sea lions, grey whales, and your pet cat and dog. Last time I checked, they did not routinely induce those mammals becuase they were “overdue,” nor do they routinely remove those babies from the mother’s bodies via major abdominal surgery.
Now, I am thankful that we have obstetrical surgeons (commonly known as OB/GYNs) and epidurals and pitocin and C sections. They save mothers’ lives, and they save babies’ lives, and they are good tools to have around. I am not “anti” those things. But I am “anti” their routine use.
What are we women so afraid of? More women die from C sections than from vaginal births in this country. More babies fail to breastfeed because of being drugged from epidurals, removed from their mothers after birth, and hard and fast Pitocin induced and augmented births than becuase of a complete lack of breastmilk.
What are so afraid of? A woman in labor is a POWERFUL woman. She is beautiful. She has truly laid down her body for the life of another. Are we afraid of our own power? Are we afraid of being “animals”? Ina May Gaskin’s mantra is that to successfully birth a baby naturally, you have to “let your inner monkey do it.” Almost every single other mammal on the face of the Earth manages to have their baby without pharmaceutical or surgical intervention. Why do we think that female humans are incapable of this basic, biological act?
If you give a mother the time, the space, the right environment, the help, the support, the information, and the love that she truly needs, then more than 90% of the time, she can have her baby in the most ecstatic, emotional, powerful way possible.
Nothing can compare with scooping your baby out of the waters of the birthing tub with your own arms and placing her on your chest and gazing into her eyes for the first time, unimpeded by drugs or fake hormones (aka Pitocin) or fear. Nothing.
And all of the interventions, the Pitocin, the epidurals, the C sections, the ultrasounds that determine “Due dates” and “gestational size” and scare moms into inductions or simply instill in them the doubt that they could possibly birth this big of a baby–these things are robbing women of the most powerful, amazing, fulfilling experience of her life.
If a woman can’t trust her body to birth a baby, how can she trust her body to feed her baby? And if she can’t trust her body to feed her baby, how can she trust her mother’s instinct to cuddle her baby and keep him close to her all the time, even at night?
Yes, something unforseen might happen to derail your plans for a completely natural, spontaneous labor and birth. But at least if you have planned for a natural birth, and truly prepared for a natural birth, you can know that you tried your very hardest–and that is powerful, too. But even switching the “plan” with an “if” lets doubt creep in and undermine your trust in your body and your Creator.
Don’t doubt yourself. You are a woman, and you are a mother, and you can be powerful. The real question is, do you want to be?
The Birth of Owen
My husband Brent and I chose Breath of Life because of past experiences. Our daughter, Isabella was born in a hospital with Pitocin and an epidural, and our son Elias was born premature (31 weeks). Along with the fear and anxiety of an early birth was a 4 day waiting period, strapped to a hospital bed. Neither of us had any interest in spending any time in the hospital if not necessary.
My birth story…
(With additions in italics by me, the dad)
On December 9th, 2011 I woke up at 3:30 with light contractions about 10 mins apart. I was excited but didn’t want to get my hopes up if labor didn’t progress so I decided to sleep and see if they would get any stronger. I woke up occasionally, but nothing seemed to be getting stronger or closer together. I decided to take the day off and relax since I hadn’t sleep well. I am a Special Education teacher and I had already discussed it with my co-teacher and teacher aide and they decided they didn’t want a baby born at school J.
My husband and I decided to take the family out to our favorite breakfast place since we were up very early and had time before anyone had to be somewhere. At breakfast I called Vikki, our midwife, just to give her a heads up of what was going on. She kind of busted my bubble and told me that some 3rd time moms can contract every 10 mins for days… (…weeks…months…eternity… that’s what it felt like at least) we were hoping I was not one of those moms. She said to try and rest just in case it was real labor and to keep her updated. After breakfast we dropped our daughter (4) off at preschool and our son (2) off at my Aunt’s house. At this point I was still contracting every 10 minutes and was tired from waking up so early.
My husband went to work and I went home and took an hour nap. I was kind of hoping my contractions would wake me up but they didn’t. I was happy to sleep. Brent came home around noon and we spent most of the day together tracking my contractions on and off with an app I downloaded on my phone. I wrote out my Christmas cards (which I still haven’t sent out yet, I guess they are going to be post New Year’s cards) and we worked around the house a little (those cards late departure is all my fault. So was the baby at some points). It was great to have time with just us, but I was missing my kiddos. I had arranged for my cousin to pick them up from school and take care of them for the afternoon just in case it was real labor. I called Vikki again and told her that I was still contracting but nothing closer or stronger. She encouraged me to stop tracking them and just relax for the. It was great advice, I was getting anxious about whether it was real labor or not. So I stopped tracking afternoon (I, however, was keeping track to an obsessive compulsive degree) and planned on going over my cousin’s house to eat dinner and spend time with the family. On our ride over to their house my contractions started getting a little more intense and closer together (about ever 5-6 mins). Brent was getting excited but I was still thinking they were not going to stick. Throughout dinner they continued about every 5 mins and at this point I thought this might be the night (We had a broccoli casserole. I don’t really remember it going in but… just keep reading and you’ll see). We left our kids to spend the night with our cousins and headed home.
This is when things get a little more exciting…
My contractions continued getting more intense and by this point I would have to stop what I was doing and breathe through the 30-45 second contraction. I was excited but nervous because this was my first all-natural no interventions birth. This is Brent right before we left for the birthing center (doing my best facebook pose).
Around 9:30pm we headed to the birthing center (I could have stayed home longer but Brent wanted to be at the birthing center). Vikki told me she was there for the night so I could head over whenever. When we arrived Vikki meet us at the door with a smile and I was excited that this was it…I was going to have my third baby and we were soon going to find out if our two at home were going to have a new brother or sister! Oh… when we got out of the car Brent realized he was so excited (or nervous?) that he left his shoes at home (it’s happened before). Vikki and I had a good laugh on Brent’s expense. He didn’t seem to mind walking bare footed down the hall on the way to the room.
When we got to the room Vikki checked me and I was at 4cm. The contractions were somewhat painful but nothing bad, I still would just stop what I was saying or doing and breath through them and then continue on with our conversations. They were anywhere from every 4-5 minutes apart. Vikki was awesome. She laughed at all Brent’s jokes and just joined in conversation with us like we were past college roommates. About every half an hour I would get up from the rocking chair and go to the bathroom. Every time I would get up my contractions would speed up a little and then I would get comfy on the rocking chair and they would level out. I would have a longer stronger contraction, followed immediately by two less intense contractions. It was kind of strange but I could still deal with it. I started feeling nauseous and every time Vikki would step out (which was not often) I would vomit (this is when that casserole didn’t seem like such a good idea after all). I got in the tub at some point and it was awesome! It felt so relaxing… in fact too relaxing.
My contractions slowed way down and I kept thinking in my head that I should get out and get this party rolling but I didn’t want to leave the warm relaxing water. Finally I looked at Vikki and said… I should probably get out. Vikki was so encouraging and just told me I should do what my body is telling me to do. At some point while in the tub Vikki gave me some red liquid to hydrate me since I had vomited so much. I got out of the tub and decided to walk the halls of breathe of life. I found a garbage can and vomited the red liquid along the way (thank you office staff, for your clean garbage can(s)). While walking, contractions sped up and intensified, like I had feared when I was lying in the warm tub. I vomited again when we got back to the room and then again when we walked the hall the other way. We decided to go back to the room at this point. It was suggested that I sit on the toilet backwards… This was the most uncomfortable position yet, but it was the most productive position. My contractions intensified more and became more frequent but they continued being one long strong one followed by two less intense. It was around 3:30 and I was sitting backwards on the toilet and felt like I had to poop (for dad’s, pooping is typically a euphoric activity, filled with reading materials and quietness… but this time signified a milestone in the soon-to- be arrival of baby 3!). Vikki called Mary our birthing assistant. I got back into the tub and my contractions slowed down as they did the last time. From 4am-6am I tried every position imaginable to try and ease the pain of the intense contractions.
I was still vomiting occasionally and Vikki suggested an IV with fluids to try and give me some energy. I was exhausted and I could not keep anything down the IV fluids helped. At one point I was leaning on Brent sitting on the birthing stool and vomited all over him (…indeed she did…). Vikki and Mary ran to help clean everything up while Brent took it like a manJ. My Aunt had been with us the entire time and was taking pictures and videos and helping whenever needed (having an aunt that isn’t grossed out by anything and has little, if any, shame is an invaluable asset. Thanks Aunt Polly!). She would put a wash cloth on my neck and hand me bowls to vomit in. It was really nice to have the extra hands and have someone taking pictures.
By 6am I was mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. I didn’t want to walk, I couldn’t talk except for the moans during contractions (which really did help with the pain), and I just wanted everything to be over. I returned to the toilet and sat backwards while holding onto the railing, this position helped me progress (that was a difficult thing to do. Even though we all knew the toilet would help the most, it was also the time where Alicia was the most uncomfortable and pained). I once heard that labor might be stagnant if you have some fears you are holding in so I decided to confess to Mary that I was scared of pushing. Mary was so encouraging and told me that some women enjoy pushing and they say that is actually feels good. She told me that on the next contraction I should try pushing. I did and it felt good. I wanted to go back into the tub but I didn’t want my labor to stop. I was so tired. I remember watching a birthing video where a woman delivered in the tub; she pushed once and pop, out came her baby. This is what I wanted to happen. Vikki and Brent encouraged me not to get back into the tub because of how it slowed my labor (encouraged is one word. We were also quite a bit concerned that exhaustion was beginning to set in and getting out of the tub would be quite the ordeal. Plus, anything that might have slowed labor down was worrisome). I made my way with much support from Vikki and Brent to the bed and laid down.
I had a breakdown and said I wanted to leave. (Okay, bear with my italics for just a moment. Alicia’s breakdown may have been scary to her, but it was quite different for me. I am a minister, and I read about people crying out to God, and having trust in Him, and sometimes I think that I have a good level of trust in God. But this moment sticks out to me because my wife was crying, “help me God”, and “help me Jesus”. I have never seen anyone tangibly believe in God’s power like this ever before. I know that a baby being born is a miracle, regardless of circumstance, but my wife was asking God to be the one who would make it all happen… that was awesome.)
Vikki started talking about the hospital and I remember thinking I don’t want to go to the hospital I just want to go home and sleep and stay pregnant. I didn’t think this baby would ever come out. I also feared that if the pain was this bad now, pushing the baby out would be even worse. I cried often and Vikki recited scripture and prayed for me she was such a blessing to have there. She wanted to see what was going on because I didn’t have the urge to push and I had been in transition for about 4 hours. She checked me and said that I had a lip of cervix stuck and that on the next contraction I should push and she would try to push it out of the way. Immediately after that Vikki could feel the baby’s head and asked me if I wanted to feel. I quickly declined the offer. I still thought I was not ever going to birth this baby. That was around 7am. With the cervix out of the way it was time to push.
At 7:09am Vikki told me to open my eyes and catch my baby. I reached down and grabbed him and pulled him onto my chest. This was the best feeling ever, putting my baby on my chest after bringing him into this world with nothing but the strength that God gave me to birth him. We were all in tears (I had been crying for a while…). After a couple seconds, Mary asked if we knew what we had, we answered no and Brent lifted him up and announced it was a BOY! (Yea, it was boy. He had his legs crossed during our ultrasounds, and even when he came out, everything was tucked up in a very covert manner.) It was a shock and so exciting… I was confident it was a girl throughout the pregnancy. I cried, laughed, and moaned all at the same time. The energy that had been absent for hours filled me up and ecstatic joy entered my body. After 4 hours of transition contractions, vomiting excessively and being awake for 28 hours, I birthed my baby! What seemed impossible just a couple minutes prior was possible with the Lord’s help. As I held my baby boy Mary and Vikki helped lead me to push my placenta out (sorry mrs. placenta, but I’ve seen three of you in real life, and you still gross me out). Brent cut the cord and I held my beautiful baby.
The emotions and energy were overwhelming. Birthing my son was the hardest yet most rewarding thing I have ever done. I couldn’t have done it without the loving support of my husband Brent, our midwife Vikki, the birthing assistant Mary, and my Aunt Polly. Thank you all!
Owen Nicholas was born 12/10/2011
at 7:09am weighing 7lbs, 11oz, 20 inches long.
Peanut Butter Coconut Balls
Looking for a quick, calorie-dense snack that tastes amazing and is super healthy for you? I present Peanut Butter Coconut Balls!
Ingredients:
1 c. pure virgin coconut oil, softened
1 c. natural peanut butter
1/2 c – 1 c. honey
1/2 c. shredded dried coconut (the dessicated kind from the health food store), optional
cocoa powder (1/2 c. or so)
Directions:
Place peanut butter, coconut oil, and honey in a food processor. Process until thoroughly combined. Add in coconut flakes and process briefly to mix in.
Scrape into a bowl and chill in refrigerator for 30 – 60 minutes.
Pour cocoa powder into a shallow bowl. Scoop out a lump of peanut butter mixture. Shape into a ball roughly 1 inch in diameter. Roll around in cocoa powder to thoroughly coat. Place on plate. Repeat with the rest of the mixture. Freeze, on plate, for at least 1 hour. Remove from plate and store in a large baggy or a container, either in the freezer or the fridge. Yum!
Inept but Independent
Rachel is now 12 1/2 months old. I call this the “inept but independent” stage. Actually, I think that most 17 year olds are inept but independent (they think) so maybe it never ends!
Rachel wants to drink from her little water cup all by herself. She no longer wants you to hold it for her. She no longer wants you to hold it with her. She wants to hold it. Alone. And the fact that 90% of the water ends up on her highchair tray or the ground does not seem to phase her. She sets the cup down, signs “more,” and if that fails to get her cup re-filled, she will hold it out to you, grunting “Ehhhh! Ehhhh!” until you get the message.
Sitting next to Rachel at meals is like sitting in a splash zone at SeaWorld. I need a poncho with Shamu on it.
splashing water all over
Rachel is also now very adept at making messes. She can pull all her books out of her basket, flip through some of their pages, and then move on to the next thing. Same with the plastic lids and containers in the one kitchen cupboard. And her basket of blocks. Sometimes I can convince her that putting the blocks back in the basket is a fun new game, but that only lasts about 2 blocks. So while she watches, I say our fun little cleaning rhyme and put the blocks back in the basket.
I think it is important to let toddlers, and babies, control as much of their world as you can. They have so little power. Heck, they can’t even tell you if they want to wear the red shirt or the green shirt today!
So we let Rachel be inept but independent. We let her lead us around to where she wants to go when we explore the yard or the playground. We let her make an absolute mess at meals (at least that portion of the floor gets hand mopped 3x/day!). And she can empty the contents of her play baskets and the container cupboard whenever she wants to. Why not? Sure; it adds a little bit of mess to my life. And it isn’t convenient, I admit! But I didn’t have a baby so that my life would be more convenient. I had a baby for a multitude of other reasons, and one of those was to live on her level; to rediscover how exciting it is to learn something for the first time, and watch her intense determination to master a “simple” skill.
Sometimes, inept but independent is frustrating for me. And sometimes, it is a good chance to squash my own adult agenda, timeline, and way of doing things, and live more presently with Rachel, and let her teach herself. How amazing to see!
so excited to be walking